The first fiction wrote for the world of Juyuen! Or at least, the first completed one that won’t turn obsolete anytime soon. It’s also the first time for me where one of the characters can’t talk and I have to make her communicate in other ways. Thank god I decided to use her POV or I’ll be really stumped. Again, it was written for a writing contest in RPGDreamers forum, and I believe I won it with this? Can’t remember, haha.

Synopsis: Lying in bed, she finds something simple, and then confronts something more complex.

—

I know that I have never had a memory where I woke up wrapped in drowsy warmth. Not even when I was a child, before my destiny was revealed. I have never woke up with somebody hugging me. And now, I finally discovered the bliss of such a simple act.

My fingers gently shifted towards the source of comfort and I smiled as I stroked the feather light hair that partially covered the soundly sleeping face of my companion. The deeply engraved lines on the normally solemn face were relaxed in slumber, and a slight curve of his lips made me wonder what could he be dreaming about. It must be something really good, for he was a man of little smiles.

“Sealkyna…” He murmured, still asleep, and snuggled into me. I gasped softly as the change in position pressed my unclothed body even closer to his own, and felt a light heat settling on my cheeks. The memories of what happened last night flashed in my mind and my face grew hotter. But I stayed still, afraid to rouse him from his much needed rest.

The peacefulness of the morning translated to vague drowsiness and my eyes started to drift close too. But before I could surrender into dark oblivion, movement from under me jolted me out of it. I looked up, and met a pair of clear blue eyes with residue sleepiness still apparent in them.

“Good morning.” He rubbed his eyes and yawned with his face turned away from me. I giggled soundlessly, musing how he could make such normal waking gesture look so incredibly adorable. Sensing the motion, he dropped his hand and focused those brilliant azure orbs on me curiously.

I shook my head, a smile still lingering on my lips. Taking his hand into my own, I wrote the words of greeting and blessing down on his palm, before I crept forward and pressed a kiss onto his lips. I felt his lips opening under mine in a gasp, then tentatively, the kiss became more involved. So involved that I nearly hyperventilated from lack of air.

Imagine how much I blushed when we finally broke the contact. Much to my surprise, he too, was blushing. And I chuckled silently, then winced as the action triggered an ache in my body that I did not notice earlier.

“Did I hurt you?” He quickly pushed himself up and hovered worriedly above me. Before I could protest, he pulled away the blanket on top of me, and his eyes roamed over my body to check for any injuries. I could feel my face instantly heat up, and I snatched the blanket back to cover myself, aiming an embarrassed glare at the silly man as I gestured sharply.

It then became him whose cheeks turned as red as cherries. “S-sorry, Sealkyna! I was worried and didn’t think…”

Sighing, my hands flew to form another set of symbols, letting him know that it was alright, that he merely startled me a little. My dear man looked at me with such concerned, innocent and uncertain that if I was standing, I would probably fell over from weak knees. How could anyone resist such eyes?!

Needless to say, I reassured him with another very long and intimate kiss.

But this time round, it was not the need to breathe that prevented the sweet contact from going on. It was the sudden assault of uncontrollable visions that forced me to stop what I was doing and concentrate fully on what only I can see. After all, it could be important. Most spontaneous visions were.

When the last of the visions were played out, I blinked and struggled to collect my disorientated thoughts, reordering and analyzing them so that they woul make sense. It took a long while until I finally realized what the shifting and moving images of the future were about, and I inhaled sharply, suddenly feeling very cold all over.

No! No this cannot be! Irrationally I tried to shake away the visions, to prove that they were illusions, just hallucinations produced by my delirious mind. I shook so hard I could hear my dear guardian exclaiming frantically that my head would drop off if I did not stop. I shook so hard that gathered tears spilled and hurried down my cheeks, some becoming droplets of water that flew away from me.

But they stayed. Those horrid visions of a future I no longer want to do anything about, they stayed and taunted my helplessness. Numbly, I turned my head to face the one who was so worriedly inquiring what had happened to me and my eyes stared right past his beloved features to see overlaid pictures of what had not yet happened.

A strangled sob choked itself out of my throat on its own accord and I broke. Desperately I grabbed onto my surprised one and buried my wet streaming face into his shoulder, my body wrecked by powerful sobs that I could not voiced. I cursed my inability to make the noises of despair, cursed my inability to be normal even when in fear and sorrow, and with the strength of my soul, cursed my inability to change what I could see. And all this I could only express through the rapidly falling tears from my eyes and the violent motions of my body.

When my crying finally subsided into pitiful sniffling and hiccups, I leaned bonelessly against my companion, not even having the strength to hold myself up. He gently stroked my hair from the tips all the way to where they ended near my waist, whipering soothing words and phrases to calm me down. With obvious patience, he waited until I was somewhat collected to finally and carefully ask about the cause of my distress.

The mention was almost enough to send me into another fit as my mind helpfully replayed some of the choiced scenes, but after several deep breaths, I controlled myself. After a moment’s consideration, I decided to tell him. I never had to make such a choice, as one bound by the curse. I had to tell him, my Sworned One and the only one who can understand the Forbidden Tongue, everything I see about the future, just like he has to tell the others. But this time, that did not compell me. I tell him, because I love him, and he was the one who should know.

So I told him. With trembling fingers, I weaved the entire content of my visions out in the Tongue and prepare myself for his response, no matter how bad they are.

But to my absolute surprise, he just smiled calmly and took my hands in his. Then he spoke, his voice infinitely gentle and laced with happiness, and a little sorrow. “Sealkyna, we are going to have a child. Although her destined path is probably harsher that yours, but she is the proof of our love. Don’t you think it is a good thing?”

Well yes, I think so. Dubiously, I nodded as my brain churned out the reply. Which mother-to-be would not? Even though I never expected that I could be a mother, it was still a joyous thing. Especially since the child, my poor special daughter, was indeed the very evidence that I love this wonderful man before me. And that I gave him my all. My heart, my soul and my body.

I blushed, and he chuckled as he apparently read my thoughts. Then it occured to me that something was wrong with the situation. Only when I saw the sadness in his eyes did it came to me that he neatly excluded his reaction to the other part of my revelation. That sneaky little -! And there I was previously, crying and making a fool out of myself, and worrying how he would take it, and he simply just omitted it?!

I promptly started crying again, weeping like a little girl and sending him into panic. Secretly, I felt a mildly vicious sense of ‘serve him right’ but at the same time, guilt over making him worry made itself known. So it was not long before my tears ran dry and he, observing that, cupped my face in his large warm hands and kissed away the lingering tears apologetically.

“I didn’t want to upset you, Sealkyna. I’m sorry.” A gentle kiss to my lips. “Would it surprise you to know that I expected something like that to happen?”

My eyes went wide and I stared up at him, straight into his serious blue eyes. He expected it?! How could he have expected something so terrible?! I knew him well enough to know that he does not have any pessimistic streak in him, even if he does think things through with a thoroughness that is seldom seen. What could have led him to expect this horrendous bit of the future?!

“Sealkyna, I don’t think you are that naive to believe that a romance between a Forbidden Maiden and her Sworned One will not end in something terrible.” His voice sliced through the questions in my mind. The slightly offending words effectively grabbed my immediate attention and I frowned in displeasure, ready to notify him of his apparent disrespect. But he ploughed on in the matter-of-fact tone before I could raise my hands.

“Both the oath I took and your curse forbade us to be involved in romance, especially with each other. My oath was very specific about it. But we did, and even got you pregnant with a daughter who is cursed like you and worse. Put all these together and I think that the price we are paying is already quite mild. I actually expected it to be a few times worst.”

My emotions wanted to rise up and made themselves known, regardless of what he was telling me, but I squashed them down when I saw his eyes. Those blue orbs held a vulnerability that he had sought to hid, and showed me that he was not handling the news quite as well as he was trying to convince me that he was. At that moment, I realized that my dear beloved one was as upset as I was.

Strangely, the knowledge calmed me down. And I allowed myself to think clearly, possibly for the first time since the visions came to me. With what he told me in mind, I discovered that I was indeed being naive, like he accused me of. Although I did consider the limitation of both our identities at the beginning of our relationship, I had allowed myself to drown in the sea of love and discarded thinking about the consequences of our being together.

Only now, did I know why he expected such a tragedy to happen in the future. And I felt ashamed that I did not learn of this earlier on my own. I should have been able to. I was even supposed to. It was expected of me to deduce all possible consequences from actions that could affect many. But I did not, because I ignored the unpleasant probabilities for my own happiness. And now, he, my poor daughter and the world will pay for my lack of consideration, selfishness and inability.

“Don’t blame yourself. You were happy, maybe for the very first time in your life. It’s normal for emotions to cloud one’s thinking, especially for one as emotionally young as you. Remember that I am the one who refused to stop loving you. I’m at more fault that you are.”

He caressed the side of my face, and I nodded, accepting his logic and burying the guilt deep into my heart. Despite his reassurance and attempt to shift the blame, I am still convinced that I am responsible for what happened.

“Sealkyna… I knew what I was getting into when I started making my affections known. When I made the decision to be with you as your lover, not as your Sworned One, I knew that the Gods will punish me for breaking my oath. And I knew… I knew that you could get pregnant and the prophecy will come true… but I loved you too much. Maybe I really do deserve to die, for my selfishness… I deser…”

I stopped him before he could advance further, shaking my head and telling him that it was my fault as much as it was his. A sad smile tugged on my lips as he shook his head, insisting that he was the one who allowed things to run its course, that I am forgivable. Such a dear man he is, willing to take all the blame and torturing himself with it so that I will not feel bad. Impulsively, I leaned forward and embraced him close, stunning him enough to stop him from further piling blame on himself.

Before he could recover, I wrote my love for him on his palm, telling him that he is not to be blamed fully. Telling him that I do not regret any of what happened between us, and even if I did know of the consequences, I will choose to spend my time with him. Even if my future, clouded even from my sight, has prepared a horrible end for me, I will stay by him. We will take the blame together, and together we will be as lovers. Until and after his death.

I placed my hands onto my lap after I finished my little speech, and patiently waited for him to react. He merely sat there for a long time, his unreadable eyes staring straight at me as if to probe my thoughts and feelings. It was distinctly uncomfortable to be stared at, even by a loved one, but I endured it. It was not that hard to tell that he had not anticipate that I would insist to stay by him, sharing the dreadful weight that was meant for both of us.

Without warning of any sort, he took me into his arms where I was held for a long time in his powerful, nearly crushing, embrace. Then came a soft, almost inaudible whisper beside my ear and shockingly, a telltale wetness slowing crawling down the side of my face. I wrapped my arms around his body and pressed my ear against his chest to hear his erratic heartbeat. I smiled, and my finger traced an almost repeat of his words near his heart.

‘Love you too, my forbidden one.’